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when i sorta open my eyes i’m lying there next to a relatively strange person she smiles and says i dont fucking know where did i just go?you know there are plenty of awful moments in life even in this privileged life we lead here in the west the pain the body produces the grief of losing your dad the humiliation and defeat that love can dish out the ache of memory and the persistent throb of remorse the thorns of disdain and scorn and mockery the embarrassment when you fuck up badly and for me that means almost everyday the harpoon of jealousy reeling you in to your doom yeah you get the picture well this night was the diametric opposite of all of that it was languid hedonistic bliss and man i dunno about you but that is my favourite thing the song played on in our heads the soundtrack to everything like we had been listening to it all our lives like all our lives we had ever led converged here and now between us and the opium and thailand and the warm sea and the tofu and the noodles and all the music i had written and all the music still to come and all the people i knew and all those i was yet to meet old masters and young mistresses the rascals n riff raff all in a cavalcade of rolling merriment then snatched away forever david and i sitting at a table in a restaurant hes asking me but hes smiling and joking and the food is delicious before it too is all snatched away the dreams tumble out of each she treated me like a plane as we took off and plateaued and we descended her hand on my controls firmly she flew me through all of her skies it was all so slow and i was so sleepy she got out of bed and meandered to the balcony like the euphrates river she rambled across the floor like a wandering minstrel she looked so good in the moonlit room white as the moon itself she seemed to faintly glow a blurry apparition of the nakedest woman but the opium had silenced the beast and so i gazed on in abstraction the desire was still there but all the fire had drained out leaving a sweet smouldering warmth the sheets were so soft the clouds were so blue the stars were so white the time was so stopped in an everlasting moment i lay on my side watching her on the little porch just standing there swaying in the night dappled and slightly clothed in the darkness beyond her the calmest sea stretching out into green and black words fell out of the sky into my head art pulsed behind my retina but in long dissolves the sand was so yellow the trees were so still the restaurant still going down there you could still just hear the music and laughter yeah distant merriment thats the best kind far off revelry?Speed dating events can be very nerve-wracking, whereas online chat is far less intimidating.

i asked her during a lull in the conversation she leaned over as if to kiss me and whispered in my ear i lied we walked along the beach and she put her arm thru mine and leaned against me like she had known me forever i liked this it felt pretty good she abstractly spoke about under carriages and fuselages and baggage handlers she talked of other countries where i had never been when we got back to hut 7 it had grown quite dark she produced her pipe and she produced her stash which looked like small vials of treacle the pipe heated up then she put the opium in it which curled up in smoke she took a few deep inhalations and passed the pipe to me nodding i took a few long hits not a spectacular feeling at first i guess kinda like a warm pleasant drowsiness filled with inklings running across a screen she nodded at me and i handed back the pipe this went on and on back n forth for about half an hour i looked at her through the haze and the candle light and she looked back at me man i didnt think i could feel so deep and warm and protected the tiny cabin the warm night the opium and her some frogs or something or some crickets distantly i felt so heavy felt so comfortable in my skin we held on and i dreamed a million miles out and away but i dreamt of the night itself and i dreamt i had been lying there forever in an endless night thought had slowed down and all of that language cannot go where opium can go this calm majestic splendour and architecture why couldnt life have been permanently like this..? i dimly wondered we fell down into the warm black soft womb of opium it was all mixed up swirling and delicious youre not supposed to say that about opium but believe me it is delicious there is a very heavy price to pay if you use injudiciously but opium remains a most delicious feeling nonetheless in my visions and dreams were david and the pilot it was all out of sync it was all jumbled up and reflected in waving ripples of pleasure it was vague and ambiguous and as dreamy as all heaven soon we were kissing and it was lovely but as tho from a million miles away it was so unhurried man it was so languid we kissed for a century in our hut and only half aware that i even was my mind was filled with music and women and films and memories i’m waiting for my mother outside the infants school in Dapto and she bowls up in our light blue Morris Minor she says in her Burnt Oak accent oh how beautiful she looks today so young and in charge behind the wheel oh i am overcome with love for her my lovely darling mother slowly its all changing twins are in my arms then they are young beautiful women another set of twins come along and they too turn into women my dad is watching on now hes meeting the kids he never met i think of incredible bass guitar riffs they go on and on so complex and yet so obvious why didnt i think of all this before..?nico fell off her bike and chet baker fell off a balcony but you fell off your own resolutions n crushed your vertical hold and you sold your already stolen soul for a few sous to some sale now you merely exist in the memory stick figures imagined by your blind fans in the kind of night like this where my dreams are dictated by the banging windows in the fuckin wind turn up the music to drown out all the sailors drowning ten couples courting nine crimson doves and keith partridge in a pair tree to all goodnight i bid you adrift you motherless wankers and maidens of ire the cars screaming up these foreign streets the music i still havent written the fruit i still aint bitten the comfy chair i still cant sitten the life i deserved is reserved i has reservations anyway the indian winter is brutal on the balcony of the hare krishna restaurant all those gulab jamoons and sucking on my lassi furiously the last straw was blocked i cocked my fuckin trigger for the (b)last time to lay down all my arms in your veil just then a huge whale breached a hundred miles out to sea the crows multiplied and the doves disappeared and they were crying, yes!the magpies cawed and the silver chords that i believe bind us to the other the immensity of this undertaking and its consequences the velocity a body of light must hit the rattling panes that try to keep out the night quite unsuccessfully oh i could go on and on but thats the me you know you wish you love yes i wish you all love and with those words the transmission fading dawn of a few things mark me down as absent shiva zed will be arriving now i can feel it the cables no longer supply infusion winters gone spring too soon i have conquered conquest itself i have fallen down the well well well glad you liked my film glad you liked my life glad you listened to the song the new album is next to complete yes another masterpiece oh how do we do it?but its too hot to sleep and my friend wants to hear her song we walk down the beach but the water is so warm she says sighing and looking out at the black sea with its reflected equatorial stars suddenly the deck chair collapses and i’m back on the plane the stewardess comes up and gives me a note which said and the other guy just raises his eyebrows quizzically and says nothing before we get to Bangkok i am falling asleep tho dreaming i had woken up in sydney and i was old and cold and told id been asleep i was just a junky having a fix and nodding off again with my partners in crime there was an actor and a girl bass player and a solicitor and the dominatrix and someone who i guess was unemployed but was scoring our stuff and taxing it we were all sitting round discussing all the great junk we’d shot over the years..someone is saying or something like that i thought about david and his quick ruination the music the mayhem said the article in the NME when i wake up the plane has almost landed there are still thousands of people at the airport although its now 11o’clock at night here it takes forever to find my bag and get through customs a taxi takes us to our hotel weaving through tiny streets eventually there are people cooking food along the side of the street its a real strange smell we get to the hotel actually its pretty good its got an aviary of exotic birds outside and fountains and stuff we all get our keys she says and makes a soft kissing sound and hangs up luckily i have a few days before rehearsals start the next day banga wasnt very happy with me disappearing tho he was sitting round the pool having a beer and perving at some french women said banga and his words hurt for maybe there was a grain of truth in there i tuk tuk to her hotel which is much nicer than ours boy she looks different out of her uniform tho i hardly recognise her as she comes out with her suitcase i give her a quick kiss on the cheek and our cab pulls up to drive us to the bus we drive along and she says an address to the driver we stop outside a little restaurant she says to the driver staring straight ahead we only just catch our bus driving to the ferry to Cosa Met we sit together down the front as the bus bumps over the roads down to the coast after awhile she puts her head on my shoulder and goes to sleep and shes dreaming of that song fucking cold n hideous wind the water is delish tho cold n green becalmed and ready to fly off all them ions in the fire ya know and all the iron in the spinach and all the tea leaf readers in china bored by my brilliant mind im trying to switch off soon an hour to kill on a saturday night before being engulfed the line suggests a melody and if you listen you can hear joni singing it or my dad and my sister kathy….remembering then today was not a healthy day for me last night i could have died i guess random stupid coincidental work none of you know me or each other dont presume it..!

i asked her during a lull in the conversation she leaned over as if to kiss me and whispered in my ear i lied we walked along the beach and she put her arm thru mine and leaned against me like she had known me forever i liked this it felt pretty good she abstractly spoke about under carriages and fuselages and baggage handlers she talked of other countries where i had never been when we got back to hut 7 it had grown quite dark she produced her pipe and she produced her stash which looked like small vials of treacle the pipe heated up then she put the opium in it which curled up in smoke she took a few deep inhalations and passed the pipe to me nodding i took a few long hits not a spectacular feeling at first i guess kinda like a warm pleasant drowsiness filled with inklings running across a screen she nodded at me and i handed back the pipe this went on and on back n forth for about half an hour i looked at her through the haze and the candle light and she looked back at me man i didnt think i could feel so deep and warm and protected the tiny cabin the warm night the opium and her some frogs or something or some crickets distantly i felt so heavy felt so comfortable in my skin we held on and i dreamed a million miles out and away but i dreamt of the night itself and i dreamt i had been lying there forever in an endless night thought had slowed down and all of that language cannot go where opium can go this calm majestic splendour and architecture why couldnt life have been permanently like this..? i dimly wondered we fell down into the warm black soft womb of opium it was all mixed up swirling and delicious youre not supposed to say that about opium but believe me it is delicious there is a very heavy price to pay if you use injudiciously but opium remains a most delicious feeling nonetheless in my visions and dreams were david and the pilot it was all out of sync it was all jumbled up and reflected in waving ripples of pleasure it was vague and ambiguous and as dreamy as all heaven soon we were kissing and it was lovely but as tho from a million miles away it was so unhurried man it was so languid we kissed for a century in our hut and only half aware that i even was my mind was filled with music and women and films and memories i’m waiting for my mother outside the infants school in Dapto and she bowls up in our light blue Morris Minor she says in her Burnt Oak accent oh how beautiful she looks today so young and in charge behind the wheel oh i am overcome with love for her my lovely darling mother slowly its all changing twins are in my arms then they are young beautiful women another set of twins come along and they too turn into women my dad is watching on now hes meeting the kids he never met i think of incredible bass guitar riffs they go on and on so complex and yet so obvious why didnt i think of all this before..?nico fell off her bike and chet baker fell off a balcony but you fell off your own resolutions n crushed your vertical hold and you sold your already stolen soul for a few sous to some sale now you merely exist in the memory stick figures imagined by your blind fans in the kind of night like this where my dreams are dictated by the banging windows in the fuckin wind turn up the music to drown out all the sailors drowning ten couples courting nine crimson doves and keith partridge in a pair tree to all goodnight i bid you adrift you motherless wankers and maidens of ire the cars screaming up these foreign streets the music i still havent written the fruit i still aint bitten the comfy chair i still cant sitten the life i deserved is reserved i has reservations anyway the indian winter is brutal on the balcony of the hare krishna restaurant all those gulab jamoons and sucking on my lassi furiously the last straw was blocked i cocked my fuckin trigger for the (b)last time to lay down all my arms in your veil just then a huge whale breached a hundred miles out to sea the crows multiplied and the doves disappeared and they were crying, yes!the magpies cawed and the silver chords that i believe bind us to the other the immensity of this undertaking and its consequences the velocity a body of light must hit the rattling panes that try to keep out the night quite unsuccessfully oh i could go on and on but thats the me you know you wish you love yes i wish you all love and with those words the transmission fading dawn of a few things mark me down as absent shiva zed will be arriving now i can feel it the cables no longer supply infusion winters gone spring too soon i have conquered conquest itself i have fallen down the well well well glad you liked my film glad you liked my life glad you listened to the song the new album is next to complete yes another masterpiece oh how do we do it?but its too hot to sleep and my friend wants to hear her song we walk down the beach but the water is so warm she says sighing and looking out at the black sea with its reflected equatorial stars suddenly the deck chair collapses and i’m back on the plane the stewardess comes up and gives me a note which said and the other guy just raises his eyebrows quizzically and says nothing before we get to Bangkok i am falling asleep tho dreaming i had woken up in sydney and i was old and cold and told id been asleep i was just a junky having a fix and nodding off again with my partners in crime there was an actor and a girl bass player and a solicitor and the dominatrix and someone who i guess was unemployed but was scoring our stuff and taxing it we were all sitting round discussing all the great junk we’d shot over the years..someone is saying or something like that i thought about david and his quick ruination the music the mayhem said the article in the NME when i wake up the plane has almost landed there are still thousands of people at the airport although its now 11o’clock at night here it takes forever to find my bag and get through customs a taxi takes us to our hotel weaving through tiny streets eventually there are people cooking food along the side of the street its a real strange smell we get to the hotel actually its pretty good its got an aviary of exotic birds outside and fountains and stuff we all get our keys she says and makes a soft kissing sound and hangs up luckily i have a few days before rehearsals start the next day banga wasnt very happy with me disappearing tho he was sitting round the pool having a beer and perving at some french women said banga and his words hurt for maybe there was a grain of truth in there i tuk tuk to her hotel which is much nicer than ours boy she looks different out of her uniform tho i hardly recognise her as she comes out with her suitcase i give her a quick kiss on the cheek and our cab pulls up to drive us to the bus we drive along and she says an address to the driver we stop outside a little restaurant she says to the driver staring straight ahead we only just catch our bus driving to the ferry to Cosa Met we sit together down the front as the bus bumps over the roads down to the coast after awhile she puts her head on my shoulder and goes to sleep and shes dreaming of that song fucking cold n hideous wind the water is delish tho cold n green becalmed and ready to fly off all them ions in the fire ya know and all the iron in the spinach and all the tea leaf readers in china bored by my brilliant mind im trying to switch off soon an hour to kill on a saturday night before being engulfed the line suggests a melody and if you listen you can hear joni singing it or my dad and my sister kathy….remembering then today was not a healthy day for me last night i could have died i guess random stupid coincidental work none of you know me or each other dont presume it..!It is an opportunity for us to reflect on the language and ideas that represented each year.